I’ve written about this before elsewhere, but I thought this would be a good place to start for this new blog. Also, after seeing Zombie’s latest work, The Munsters, and simultaneously not liking but not hating it, it just makes this topic worth revisiting. Also, Halloween Ends is due on Peacock soon and in theaters in about a week and I need to get writing. So here we go.

I’m sure I’ve said many times that I hated Zombie’s Halloween films. I’ve said this because it’s just easier to say that, than to explain the significant ways I feel that Zombie missed the mark. Because, at its core, this is the problem I have with the films. He just appears to not get it what Michael Myers is about.

It’s also important for me to say that my understanding of Michael Myers and what makes him tick isn’t the end all be all of it. Because honestly, John Carpenter, the legend who created the legend, doesn’t appear to understand what makes Michael Myers, Michael Myers in my opinion. So please take the things I’m about to say with many grains of salt. These are just my opinions. There is no right or wrong. That being said, what I am about to say is the way it is and anyone thinking differently is obviously wrong.

Rob Zombie’s Michael in my opinion wasn’t scary. He was far too human and more like Jason, than the Michael Myers that scared me as a child. Zombie’s Michael was poor and from a trashy family. The same kinds of people we see in every Zombie film. That was the first disappointment. From the very beginning of his Halloween, I knew exactly what where he was going, and what he was doing, and I knew he didn’t get it.

He saw Michael as bullied kid with shitty parental figures and rage issues. That was the depths of Zombie’s understanding of Michael. That was what made Michael the killer he grew to be, anger issues. I can’t help it, I lost all respect for him as filmmaker after those two films. I felt like that’s all he could bring to it, his depth of understanding was this shallow anger management issue. It was just embarrassingly laughable to me. As apposed to me, the enlightened nobody ranting online.

So how did I see Michael Myers? Thought you’d never ask. Michael was born perhaps evil and definitely curious. I see Deborah Myers (Michael’s mom) going though a mostly routine pregnancy. Until towards the end of it, when Michael was ready to come out. A few kicks, that surprised her because he never kicked. Then nothing for maybe a day or two. But then suddenly, intense pain, her water breaks as his kicks and punches become defined and stronger. She’s rushed the hospital, more kicks, a little bleeding, a few minutes of calm.

Screaming as she wheeled into delivery, more blood and she screams one last time before passing out briefly as Michael on his way out. The doctor has him out and held by his feet, there’s no crying. Looking over the tiny child, the doctor smacks Michael’s butt like they used to. Michael eyes jerk immediately in the direction of the doctor and their eyes meet, startling the doctor. Michael never made a sound as the nurse takes him and cleans him up. Michael’s eyes never seem to leave the doctor until the doctor eventual walks out of the room shaken by the experience.

That’s how I see Michael entering this world. Not some kid with petty anger issues. Michael was born when he was ready to be born. You see Michael Myers was more than just simple rage. He was beyond that to inhuman levels. While I have no doubt, he killed a few animals as he grew into the young child that would eventually kill his sister, it wasn’t to torture them, it wasn’t to be mean or to bully, it would have always been with reason. To understand, to see death. A curiosity sometimes but never because he was simply angry. He watched, he learned and then one day there was his sister, he didn’t snap, he just needed to kill her. It’s beyond our understanding. He just keeps evolving, he will continue to live and age and just will not die until he’s ready to. And, someday he will just die, stop, end.

Probably not gone forever because whatever that weird supernatural spark was at the moment of conception that made Michael, Michael, could happen again. It could be a boy, a girl, they, them, it’s probably happened before, and it will probably happen again. A being born with a preternatural need and ability to fill the void of darkness in them.

This is why I didn’t like Rob Zombie’s Michael Myers. To me, it was shallow. It was a simplistic interpretation of something from a filmmaker that appeared to be simply out of his depth. All we needed to know about Michael Myers is that he’s silent, his rage, if that’s what it is, doesn’t stem from simple anger, it’s a need, a supernatural desire to kill, or fill something inside himself.

That being said, I’d like to quickly talk about how my view of Zombie has changed after seeing the Munsters. As I mentioned already, I didn’t care much for the movie. However, at the same time, what he did, was so different than what I had seen from him before. While I thought he again missed the mark on the main character, his style changed here. The colors were vibrant, the characters had a life of their own. It wasn’t the same filthy looking, poor, grunge characters of old. Sheri Moon Zombie as Lily was wonderful. I thought everyone in it was sensational. I felt the film dragged mainly because his Herman Munster was just too dumb. While the original Herman was also dumb, he had depth to his character, he had heart. Unfortunately, Zombie’s Herman didn’t he was just kinda dumb and knew it. JEff Daniel Phillips who played Herman in Zombie’s film was as good as he could be. But good acting couldn’t save such a poorly designed character in his film.

But his new Munster’s movie showed me that Zombie is very capable of filming out of his comfort zone. I mean, what he did with Grampa and Lily were great. I’d like to see more of this Zombie and less of the Zombie who makes movies about white people who like they’ve never seen a shower.